I had one of those moments of pure desolation in our session today. And as I was in it, I felt this desperate need for someone - you - to put your arms around me. I had this voice in my head saying "I need a hug".

I suppose you probably felt it. Because I realise now that C was feeling it, hearing it, that time he said he wanted to hold me. And I know that R felt it too. And all he could do was pass me the box of tissues.

It's hard to feel that and not be allowed it. But there are a lot of things I'm not allowed.

You are very nice, M. But you can't heal me. Nothing can.