I really have been heading down. I have been having so many difficulties lately with like my depression. I am just so depressed. I stayed in the assisted living facility I use to live in last week and it did help, I mean I was ok after being there for a few days I started feeling better and I was fine for a few days after I left but last night hit me smack in the face. I am thinking I know what this is all about. I think it is all about the sexual assault I went through last May. It was a very serious trauma and I actually almost died from it. It has been rather difficult this last year but I think it is getting worse because it is getting close to that one year anniversary. I think I am going to be starting this partial hospitalization program within the next few days. I really though am just hoping that I will make it through. Sometimes I do wonder though if I am going to. I am so down right now. I am hiding pretty much all of my feelings except depression. I am hurt and scared and all but I am not really owning it so much. I know it is not good to ignroe my feelings and it will eventually get me no where but I am just so depressed now. I need help.