I don't understand this very well. I am relatively close with my family, but we have our issues.

And suddenly I feel depressed about upcoming family events and gatherings around the holidays and upcoming birthdays. I feel more so obligated than anything else. It's as though I lose my freedom and have to go to these events, rather than wanting to go.

My family does a LOT together around the Christmas holiday. I am thinking I want to skip on my father's annual men's choir that we always attend. I go every single year with the family, and this year, I just don't feel like it. I want to spend more time with my fiance.

I feel selfish, but I feel like I want to start creating boundaries. For the last four years while I lived with my parents, I had to attend every single family event, and there were many. Now that I am on my own again, I want to do my own thing.

Is that so bad?? Am I selfish for wanting to attend fewer of these events? I don't really understand why, it's just something I wish to do.