Thank you all for the responses. For your help. I appreciate it. I’m doing the best I can.. I’m just miserable. My life isn’t horrible, I’m just tired of the pain. And tired of having to be fake and act like everything is perfect just so people will like my company. It just doesn’t seem or feel right. I’m tired of it!

Rebeka: thanks for your kind words. I hope I can one day be in your position where I’m glad my attempt didn’t work. I really, really do. I’m so glad to hear you are! Way to go, chickadee.
Skeezyks: thanks for the links. Appreciate them and took my time in reading them.
Falla: I understand what you’re saying but I don’t know if I’d be able to do it. I have a tough time believing there is a higher power I can believe in when so much pain is.. allowed. So much inadequacy. Hurt. Unfairness. That’s why I’ve shied away from it. I admire everyone who’s able to believe in a higher power or religion. They definitely seem to have a healthy way of looking at things and life.
Mickey: at this point you’re not kidding when you say the only place to go is up. I suppose that’s one way to look at it. I hope it’ll help. I do see a therapist but I haven’t been completely open about my feelings because I’m afraid of getting sent to inpatient. I don’t want that. But I’ll have to find a way to do it, now. After all.. she can’t help unless she knows the whole truth, huh? Thanks for your help.

Split image: You mention being glad/thankful that you’ve found someone who’s been able to put you on the right regimen of medicine? That’s fantastic! How do you/would you handle it if you came across someone who made fun of someone who needed/needs to see a psychiatrist? Someone who said that this person can’t possibly have friends because they’re crazy since they need to be on meds. I came across this today. It’s so hard not to take it personally even though I’m not supposed to. That I’m not supposed to give this ****** person the time of day. But it’s hard! How do you cope with it? What do you do?

I appreciate you all.
It’s Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving... whether you get to spend it with family, away from family, or with your work family. I wish you the best.