Happy Thanksgiving to those in the U.S.
I did a small Thanksgiving lunch, honey ham on rolls. Not up to cooking much for 3. Stomach is still wonky from yesterday, and I've messed up some dosing of my mood stabilizer (lamotrigine). I filled my medicine box and had to switch bottles; they make that pill every which way - large white tablets, blue pentagons, pink/peach oval capsules. None of the versions look alike & my pharmacy seems to be toying with using different manufacturers, and if I have to get it mail order, it's another manufacturer. The missed doses have made me somewhat manciky, but I'll be OK. I slept 9.5 hr. last night. No running today, feel guilty about that, but my stomach still doesn't feel the greatest, so a break isn't going to kill me.
I am thankful most of the time for not dying from the perforated ulcer I had on Valentine's Day. Post-op, I really wished I had died because of the pain. Even now, sometimes I question if I was supposed to make it and if so, to what purpose? It caused me to lose over 10 lb. in the hospital and woke up the ED.
I am grateful I healed enough (and relatively quickly) from the surgery to walk, run, jog, vacuum (that was surprisingly very hard to do with that scar healing), carry cases of water bottles again.
I am thankful for my family, for a husband who is still there despite all my MI problems though sometimes I worry my issues will drive him away. I'm grateful to have a smart, healthy daughter and 2 sisters I count as friends and the rest of my family even if there may be strained relationships at times.
I'm grateful I got a lot of sleep last night as sleep curbs manic intentions.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD
Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,
There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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