I’m really confused at the moment. My son is struggling with depression now, and he’s been saying that he can’t stand to be around our family. He has emotions but won’t say what he is upset about. He says he doesn’t know or is confused. He said he shut off feelings from us six years ago when I had cancer.

I understand why our home is depressing. It is tense here and we haven’t had a meaningful good time here in awhile. We are also estranged from family, and the family we’re not estranged from is struggling. Everywhere I look I see depressed miserable hurting people.

I feel like I’m losing my son, but I’m trying to be optimistic. How sad to know that he could wander away from this to something better and never look back.

I just can’t tell if he is depressed because of our family dynamics, and if changing family dynamics would help? I don’t know if it’s even possible to change family dynamics. I just don’t understand anything at the moment because I’m so sorrowful knowing that my son was whimpering as he told me he doesn’t feel comfortable around our family and he doesn’t want to be here.

I’m feel like I’m a horrible failure of a mother who let her child down. Is that normal? I’m feeling so regretful lately and wishing I could rewind time and do things better.