Thanks, bill3. He has a counselor now, but is not comfortable bringing us in right now (if ever). Every one of us has had individual counseling at some point, but not as a family. I don’t think my son trusts that it would be safe or fruitful. I don’t think my husband or son would go for it. Too volatile.

I’m going to keep reaching out to him and reminding him that I care immensely about him and am here to support him.

I am trying to be very careful to be properly supportive and not critical or pushy, but also bring proper attention to the issue. I’m trying not to blame myself, either. But sometimes I’m not as present as I could be. Life has been extremely stressful with my husband in a mental hospital not very long ago. My son now talking about stress and frustration and the temptation to skip it all.

My son has been sharing feelings and thoughts that are hard to accept. He was very bleak talking about fried memory and brain damage from anxiety and depression. He wondered how he could handle the future. I said that they say prolonged stress can fray your dna, but that he can also be optimistic that things will improve too. I said it reminds me of childbirth...it’s terrifying for a girl when she thinks about childbirth, but that most people want babies.

I say the wrong things I think. I panic and say the first thing that comes to mind. Looking back I could have shown more empathy. I could have asked him more about how he feels instead of trying to rationalize his emotion. 😔