I have a hard time sitting back and waiting for things to happen. I need a plan, I don’t like surprises. So all of this uncertainty at work and how slow job searches go is killing me. Add in that I am still not sure if I will hire a lawyer and fight them and my anxiety is through the roof. Surprisingly the depression isn’t too bad except for the suicidal thoughts. I need to know the outcome of this so I can try to move on. Which I know will not be easy because I will ruminate about every little thing. There are just too many variables and moving parts that it is hard settle things down. I really wish it wasn’t a holiday weekend because that means I need to wait longer.