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I will admit to paying for Background searches on T and then getting the address and driving by. Of course, I WOULD NEVER have done anything, but I just wanted to feel connected with T was out of town.

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Yeah, I would NEVER do anything to him. I just want to feel connected to him and I miss him during the weeks between my appointments. Oh, and I have to confess there's a website where you can find people's addresses for free but I shouldn't divulge it. But I STILL paid for a background check anyway because I thought I could find out even MORE info on him. It basically just gave me the same addresses but I also paid for another option that let me find out when he purchased his house and how much it was worth.

I'm not sure how my doc would react. I think he'd be understanding if I told I felt a childlike attachment to him and say something along the lines of, "It's good that you're being honest. I know it's hard for you to open up." However, I think the drive-bys and myspace lookups might freak him out.

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winterbaby said:
I would carefully word it if you are going to tell him. That you are strongly attached or something. I would NOT tell him about the drive bys or lookups on myspace.

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That sounds like the best option. It'll give me a chance to address my underlying issus without freaking him out and destroying the relationship.

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Especially if you are aware it's a passing phase and do not wish to harm or get closer to him. Legally yes it is "stalking". If you feel it escalating then you might want to try some meds or something and look into further help for these feelings.

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It's not escalating. I'm not going to peek in his window or follow him or anything. I have to admit I would be VERY tempted to call him at his house just to hear him answer the phone or listen to the answering machine message. Unfortunately, the obsession is not fading either. I'll just try to look on the bright side and at least be glad that's it's not escalating.

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If you can keep this obsession in check and try to work it out by just giving it time to fade, or talk to another T about it (that you wouldn't feel you'd get attached to), or realize it's part of a phase of attachment that some people get then you might be able to deal with it better. I've done the same things you did in the past ! All of it! But don't feel the need anymore I think you'll get to that point too.

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I hope I get to that point too! Thanks everyone.