Legally, she doesn't have the say in where she lives, but she has also made it clear that she will not have my brother and I dictate where and how she lives. We do have a valid case to fight her on it, but we don't want to fight with her - as I said, she's my only 'parent' now and I want to keep her in my life, even if I have to let go of this fantasy that we'll ever have a true mother-daughter relationship.

I never really got the 'Nana' thing, but she'd probably like that more than 'Aunt'. But do you think that's enough of a differentiation that my daughter will have less expectations of her than I do?