Hello everyone.

I'm sincerely thankful for the support ya'll have given me, basically it's the only sort of support I get, I'm very gracious.

I'm at the point where I am screaming inside, like I'm nearly on the verge of tears constantly. Every word another person says to me...face to face, enrages me. The people who've complained to me about any sort of small ******** makes me want to strangle them and tell them "THAT AIN"T %#@&#!".

Mostly, I am angry at myself for allowing these awful things to happen to me, to come into my life. I just realized I have been driving around without car insurance for a week now....my insurance cards say I'm good for another three months, I'm hoping this deception will buy me time.

Luckily my Internet is still on.

I really need help. My Mom has been ignoring my cries, she tells me it's all my husbands fault and that I'm at fault for staying here with him. Instead of supporting me with insightful resolutions and advice she harps on me and indicates to me what a loser I am. My sister just told me she's been dealing and smoking crack....another hard blow. For my husband, well....he does nothing but blames me for every single little %#@&#! thing...every small piece of unbalance in our lives including misplaced mail and unmatched socks...I'm literally about to crack.

I feel alone.

I realize now that I am ill with suffering. I can't sleep, eat, or even think clearly. As I was driving home from class this evening I veered off the road not realizing what I was doing. My mind was blank.

To end this crappy post with something enlightening I will say that my nephew is coming from DC to see me for a week. My teacher told me to give her my NYC money whenever I can get it to her even though it's due tomorrow, she even offered me a loan....it was so nice.

I'm trying to make it through....thanks all for listening and caring. (((everyone)))