My Support Forums - View Single Post - Dear T:I Really Need to Tell you Something... Part XXXVI

LabRat27 · Nov 24, 2018, 04:06 AM

You say that you don't want to make me a victim
but I want to be a victim
I want to feel sorry for myself. I know that I want to give myself permission to feel sorry for myself.

That's why it matters to me. That's why "your feelings are valid because you feel them" isn't a good enough answer.

Possible trigger:

if someone's parents beat the **** out of them, then that person has every right to feel sorry for themselves if they want to. That person has every right to see themselves as a victim if they want to.

If my childhood was okay enough but I was just really sensitive and fragile and anything less than perfect parenting would have lead to me being this ****ed up or worse, that's different than if my childhood was objectively ****** and not a suitable environment for a child to grow up in.

I know it's not black and white. I just want to know what to allow myself to believe. I want to know whether it would be lying to say that I had a tough childhood.

Possible trigger:

I want to know whether I'm allowed to call it abusive
but if I ask and you say you don't think it was that bad I'd be mortified for having been so melodramatic and trying to feel sorry for myself when I didn't deserve it

I can't help but think that if you did think it was "bad enough" you wouldn't be being so evasive about it.