I'm sorry you are struggling with all of this fear. I have a good dosage of it as well. But I'm old & pretty reclusive. So I manage. I wish I had some creative suggestions to offer you. But, really, working through this with the help of a skilled trauma therapist is probably the answer. I presume you are perhaps doing that. Such activities as journaling & meditation can help too. But I suspect therapy is going to be the key to recovering from what you experienced. I send hugs your way with the hope that can happen for you... soon.