Can you not a phone
A friend to stay with
For a while? And I
Say that I was in
A controlling relationship
And my friends are
Just acquaintances now.
I never got my
Confidence back from
Being in here
Six years ago.
They obviously see
That I am a reasonable person
Who had a life
Prior to this breakdown
And would carry on
To live once this too
Faded into the background.
Can you not phone
One of them so you
Can be at there's
Instead of here for
An afternoon. And I pause
And say I don't want
To bother anyone.
That my ex was controlling
And all my friends
Have family now.
It wouldn't be fair
To encroach on them.
So another nurse says,
You are young and
Need to get back out there
When you leave here.
But they don't seem
To quite grasp that
Even though it isn't prison
That if I was ever
Going to truly get
Back out there,
It would need
To be further afield.
That ideally I wanted
To start afresh where
No-one knew about
My "baggage" or past.
But then again they
Would have just been
Trying to present
The positive scenario.
I had seen enough hardship.
But most people who
Had been on the ward,
Had their unique struggle
And on-going battle.