Quote:
Originally Posted by tecomsin
It sounds like a good outcome, except for the part about not having access to a pdoc. What were the classic signs of BPII that you had?
The reason i ask is I am wondering if I were actually bipolar II before having my first mania in my 40s and getting the diagnosis of bipolar 1.
I do think diagnoses can change over time too, just to make things even more complicated than they already are.
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I've fully come to accept that I will not have a pdoc and I'm cool with it. I'm lucky I have a chill primary doc that understands my issues. I know he wishes I would try another psychNP but after the last two my trust doesn't exist; so I'll stick with someone I trust completely.
I talk really fast, granted we think that is probably a family trait since everyone of my father's side talks really fast.
I have flighty thoughts from time to time, it's a lot better with the medication but these thoughts made me also have a diagnosis of ADHD as a child to keep me focused instead of having daily squirrel moments. I still have squirrel moments but it's not that bad and I haven't been on any ADHD medication since I graduated high school.
I had an awful time on SSRI's/SNRI's that only an Anti psychotic could cure that depression it was terrible depression, my mother has had battled depression since her two battles of cancer and her inability to do anything without help. I thought I knew depression, but when it hit me it was unlike anything I've ever experienced. I physically didn't want to do anything, I was sleeping until four in the afternoon and taking a nap on the couch, I just had like no will to go on. I was in that state for about two and a half months and the moment he upped my Seroquel from 100 to 200 it was a night and day difference, I wanted to enjoy life again, I wanted to work again, I had all these wants in my head because the medication had fixed the depression.
On the low dose of Seroquel I did have hypo tendencies I went to work one day and felt great, no anxiety, no depression, like old me before a diagnosis. I was more bubbly with coworkers and patients, I was certainly more talkative than usual, I'm usually more of the silent judgey type. The next day I went to silent my alarm clock and the depression came back and I was extremely irritable looking back I wish I would have called out this day and saw my doctor for a med increase but I was dumb and still new to the illness that I went to work full irritable. It didn't end well for me and I fell even further into the depressive cycle, every once in a while I would get mixed and want to things, but physically couldn't because of the depression.
I've finally found the right dosage because I finally feel like old me again.