I recently got home from work, I had an ok day. My brother broke up with his boyfriend and we talked a lot throughout the day about our break ups and the things we both thought were wrong about our relationships. So I kind of had some time to vent out of how I’ve been feeling in the last month since my break up. I was feeling fine and just thought I’m fine I’m starting to feel better and I’m not going through this alone and I have someone to go out with if I feel like I want to go out. Then I go on Fb and I deleted him but I still have his son because I really had a good relationship with him and it felt wrong to unfriend him; and I see a picture of him, his sons and his dying mother and my heart just dropped and I instantly called him. I know I should not have but it felt like I had to. I didn’t know her because she has alzheimer but I know he always go really upset when he talked about her. There’s something about this man that no matter what I want to be by his side. I was saying today, “I wanted to get back with him but when we were together I didn’t want to be with him”, I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time. My previous relationship, we were together for almost 3 years, we broke up I was sad for about a month and quickly got back to my life and it was done. Then I started talking to this one 9 months ago, started dating 6 months and a month later I feel like is day one. I have easier days than others but I always think of him, I get really anxious when I think that I might see or hear something about him. I lived in PR for 8 years and I’m contemplating to move back to the states. I never felt like I wanted to move back. I don’t think I was even so in love with my previous relationship as I am right now with a guy that didn’t treat me well. I feel like I’m loosing my mind and that it is most definitely something wrong with me. Out of the guys I’ve been with he is the worst (including my ex husband who got into a relationship with my best friend)... I really would like to be able to talk to someone that helps me understand what’s going on with me. I totally understand everything, that he is not the right one, that things that happened were not right, that the things he would tell me hurt more than being slapped, that I was happy only a small fraction of the times we were together and that we fought every week. I don’t know, I really don’t!!! 🥺