I’m so sorry for you! That sounds terrible. I hated Clozaril too and it made me fat also and I am still holding most of the weight even though I’ve been off of it for quite some time. In my case, I had an idiot pdoc who skipped many meds before jumping to the Clozaril. I was off of meds for 8 years and then had a psychotic break. I completely lost my mind. It took several years and much experimenting but I have been completely stable on my cocktail for more than a year and a half. My mental state off of meds becomes so insane so quickly, that I have no control and, after the horrible experiences I put my husband and children through, I am certain my husband would leave if I stopped my meds. I just lose all connection with reality.