I'm prone to a deep melancholy around this holiday. So, adapatations have been made through the years to minimize the hole I just want to crawl into. I only have so much energy to spare for it. It just is. I don't bring anyone down around me but if it means not seeing dishes sit in a sink for a week(or so) or the tree up into February....((or see me crying in bed all day))
Quiet times together matter. Getting out of the house matters but to do things together. Last year brought this to light for me. To add: brought to light that getting out and doing things matters. We went to the Lakers game last Christmas. We make the day after a day out browsing eating out etc.

I have "traumatic injury" from my youth so um it's been adapted in my life to not go overboard.