I put a trigger warning just in case but this is actually a happy post. It’s been one year since I last self harmed! Last year many of you probably remember I was struggling immensely. I was hospitalized for depression and psychosis. Then a month later I was still severely depressed. I was on suicide watch at my partial program. I was self harming daily, and badly. But finally a year ago the light started slowly - VERY slowly - shining through. And I was able to pull myself together in time for Christmas.

So even though I had another severe depressed episode in April, I did not self harm then. So now it’s been a whole year!

It’s also been seven months since I’ve been hospitalized and seven months stability (for the most part). I’ve finally found a med combo that works as well as invega and emsam did, without the elevated prolactin. I’m even planning on talking with my pdoc to lower the haldol as I don’t think I need it anymore. My plan is to come off completely and keep it on hand for emergencies. Of course I will discuss this with my pdoc before I go forward but I think she will agree. I have graduated to seeing her every three months instead of every month.

So for all of you losing hope or struggling, I encourage you to keep holding on. I know that the bipolar monster will probably rear its ugly head again, but I also know I can get through it. And so can all of you. We’re all here for each other! Love and hugs to all!