Meds make me worse. But I was hoping the major SI would go away once I was off of them because I hadnt dealt with that for 10 years until starting meds and the last 2 years were so bad.

Im ok now. More rational again. As long as the SI is short lived Im not too likely to attempt I dont think so no point in doing anything about it.

The pdocs say I have borderline too I dont 100% agree with most of what they say but I do have some extreme reactions sometimes. My SI was probably just a reaction to them saying Im not doing well when I really am. It really p***ed me off to find out my dr said that. She had asked me if I was hypomanic but withdrew from that quickly and said she wasnt saying I was and that it was just a question when I guess I reacted negatively to her even asking that.