THIS. It makes me angry that anyone should feel pressure to buy, especially when it's not in the finances. If it is self-imposed, please let it go. If it is not, it is bullying. This aspect of the holidays really pisses me off, and we hear it so often! What is wrong with people that they are so hellbent on getting? What is so wrong about keeping it simple? There are many (and better) ways to express love to someone than a gift. Gifts are ok, but they shouldn't have to cost more than you can afford to "prove" anything.

Spending quality time together, doing things for others (like those "coupon" books you can make simply for something as simple as washing dishes on their turn etc.) Play board games together. Work on a project together. Do a puzzle. You can even get them from the library sometimes I think. There are options that need not be stressful. I hope you can do some to reduce your stress.

I'm really sorry about the coupon code. That sucks. Maybe you can cancel the order. Even if not, you didn't RUIN Christmas! It would be a very sad commentary on anyone who thought you did, because you didn't! Ruining Christmas would be fighting with people, being a drunken aggressive azz, things like that. Not the cash value of gifts or lack thereof.

Please be gentle with yourself. You are being way too hard on yourself.