I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. My family doesn't do presents at all anymore. My dad sometimes gives me money to buy something for myself. We spend time together as a family, which is all we need to do. There are no kids in my immediate family, so maybe that's part of it. I don't think adults "need" presents. If you can't afford it, they should understand. If I don't, then they're the jerks, not you.

If you "ruined Christmas" then I ruin it every year because I don't buy presents for anyone. Christmas should be about more than spending money. I don't know if you're religious or not, but regardless it doesn't make sense to make this holiday all about spending money.