i don't mind your bluntness. I know I need a car. I'm spending my car money. We have to find a car before we can sell/scrap our car. So it doesn't cost our plate changed. I know it's stupid but this holiday means a lot to me. I'm not a good money manager. It's my fault we're constantly running out of money. Especially because I do stupid stuff like that. I got those things for us. It was half price and I would have bought it at half price even if I had to borrow money. The thing is I didn't do the code right. It wasn't really about Christmas. It's about me spending money and ****ing up so badly. How I just caused us to loose over $100. I feel like a complete ****ing up.

I'm really really trying to distract myself. I'm so dumb. I don't really know how to get my priorities straight. I'm sinking all the time. I just give up sometimes.