How is it that I simultaneously feel so "invalidated" and like that you don't think what I experienced was "bad enough," yet when you talk about my younger self with any bit of compassion or understanding it makes my skin crawl with discomfort and I hate it

On Friday you once again brought up the whole me calling my mom crying and begging her to come home to tuck me in at night thing. I told you about that because I was deeply ashamed of it and it was an example of how pathetic and weak and needy I was as a child. How I made things worse for my mother by being so weak, if she did come home she'd have to deal with my father.
I told you that because that's the kind of pathetic weakness I loathe in myself. And you bring it up to try to get me to feel compassion for myself??
Every time you bring it up I want to tell you to shut up shut up shut up shut up

I want you to validate that those years were hard, not point out how weak I was. I tried so hard to be strong, you don't need to remind me that I wasn't