Are you in therapy? You might be attracting wring men and then are trying to make them into right ones. It’s not uncommon. Good therapist can help you.

You tried to make this relationship work but it can’t work with men like your BF. You may or may not find the right man but the one you are with isn’t right and you can’t change that. You can’t make it work with him, that’s just a reality. Since you two don’t live together it could be relatively fast ending. No packing and moving is involved. I spent almost 9 years living with a person whom I hoped to change (alcoholic relapsing on and off). Well I finally left and am now happily married but he still struggles with the same issue. What you see is what you get. I dont regret it but there was no need to stick around for that long. When someone isn’t right, dragging it for years isn’t going to make them right.

Are there other things in life you might enjoy if you dont have a man: hobby? Job? Work out? Volunteer? Church? Friendships? Helping others? Good books? Walking in a nature?