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Old Nov 26, 2018, 02:54 PM
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Blueberrybook Blueberrybook is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 7,001
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer View Post
In the past, I experienced long periods of hypomanias that sometimes rose to full manias. Impulsity was a major symptom for me during those times, especially when it came to what flowed from my mouth, or fingers, to a lesser degree. Throughout my life I have generally been an assertive and expansive type person. That's part of my personality, but mood elevation amplifies it. That's lost me friends, prevented some new ones, created scenes in public, made me seem very odd (wild)/over-the-top/flirtatious, resulted in disciplinary counselings, scared a therapist into quitting me, nearly got me fired, and led a pharmacist to nearly call the police on me. It was mostly all way "over the top" stuff or me expressing my desires, opinions and frustrations too openly and/or aggressively.

In more recent years, my insight into the above (and self control) has improved, but in the past it was very little and often absent far after-the-fact. Grandiosity/elevated self esteem during hypomanias/manias was often a contributing factor.
Fortunately, I don't think it is grandiosity. If I have self-esteem at all, it's pretty much stomped to the ground. But, yes, I did send an email that got me sent to the psych ER via police car and into a CPS investigation, none of which helped anyone in my family.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen