I need to get out of this depression...I have been depressed for 13 months now.

Before this started I was reading, had a good job, was writing, was engaged. Of course it was thanks to lamictal, which I suddenly had to stop and which started all of this.

So I decided a while ago that I have to do something. I read about making small goals. I tried that and it worked a little, but it's better than nothing.

So I made small goals and achieved them, and missed others. I kept on trying.

So now I have decided that I'm going to motivate myself to get back into fields that are really of interest to me and have been for a long time - astronomy, artificial intelligence, and big data.

I have been reading books about all three and I admit I don't understand all of it but you have to start somewhere.

It's all forced - I have to force myself to read and do other things but the way I see it, it's progress.

I'm tired of oscillating between severe and moderate depression. Maybe this will help me climb out... if anything I'll at least be distracted and not thinking about how bad I feel.

As far as today goes, I feel bad, a lower than usual mood. Everything aches. I'm hungry but I don't want to eat. I'm stressed at work.

But I'm here and have finished reading another chapter, so that's better than I have been doing for a long time.