2daffodils, it sounds a bit to me like you're settling for what you can get, and you're settling for less than what you deserve.

You can't deal with living with him, but you still want to hold on and work out the issues? You cannot teach a man respect. You cannot teach a man who is mean how to not be mean.

You don't deserve mean words. You don't deserve to be told "I can't tolerate you".

Why you would still want to work it out with a man who sometimes is mean to you and who said these words is beyond me, but I think you're settling because you know this means you will be alone.

It's far better to be alone than to settle for less than what you deserve. It's far better to be alone than to be hurt. It's far better to be alone than to deal with someone who transfers their hate for women onto you... that's misogyny. Please think about this. He does not sound like an all around good man.