life seems to be a story..one with no answers..

.........It's always something..it feels like it's slipping away from underneath me..everything seems to go wrong and I don't fit in wiht this world..

One thing about me is I need to be very, very, busy with lots and lots of drama..I've been without a full time job for a long time now and it's making me jump out of my skin..had 2 interviews last week and today they both told me "NO..."

But what I want to say is I just don't feel 'me..' anymore. The tears are streaming down now..when I lived with children and cared for them it was all clear that was 'me..' and then I was asked to leave and these kids called me mom how could I leave my own kids?

I'm not being coherent because I'm sick of being coherent maybe this world is wrong to always be undramatic and coherent.

I need a workplace to feel whole!! I always have!! I cannot go on.

And people always say I shouldn't need others to feel whole...yet when I'm in something really dramatic I always feel perfect!! I am telling you I DO need drama and others to feel whole.

I dont know who junerain is anymore.