Today has not been great ED-wise. Or maybe good recovery-type wise but not making the ED happy.

I ran half of what I usually run daily, so I feel guilty about that. This afternoon, I had a brownie as a snack along with breakfast and lunch. Now I keep wanting to hop on & off the scale even though I know the weight is really only accurate first thing in the morning. Guilt over eating 1 brownie is just dumb, especially when I do need to gain weight. In my head, I know this, but in my head, I also don't want this.

Bipolar has been swinging up & down today. I've been in a mixed state a long time now, I think since the end of March. Most days, I have the manic & depressive closer together or even at the same time. Not sure why it is so distinctive today.

Need to leave soon to see the T.