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Kaylana said:

I am torn between sticking with the decision I made out of duty, and the decision I should have made to be with the guy I love. We are both in counselling with our partners and in individual therapy, and have agreed to try and find the kindest way to do the right thing.

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The kindest way to do the right thing? Well, I guess you could say, "I'm committed to doing everything I can for my marriage, so I'm not going to see you anymore."

Then at your next marriage counseling session, tell the therapist and your husband what's been going on. And admit you made a mistake, but you didn't want to lie anymore.