with me i sought help when i hit rock bottom i was always ssitting on the couch crying shaking and just always scared of everything i got help i got better i felt like my old self for a year then i quit my meds thinking i can handle this without meds i was wrong i got sick again i have been since april of last year so tom i have my pdoc appt now after so long i know now i'm the type of person who needs meds end of story but i'm optimistic i will live again normally whick i want so desperatly i want to work again and feel usefull then if things keep getting better then maybe start dating again and settle down with some kids but at this moment my health is first i tell everyone to seek help and don't wait because time flies and it sucks when your sick