Well I got 6 hrs sleep so that was pretty good.

I have been weighing myself every day and spending a lot of time looking at myself which also is not normal for me.

Well this morning Im down 6lbs(not necessary but looks good) So I looked at myself in the mirror and the thought I had was - at least I'll look good when they burn me to a crisp(I want to be cremated) My other thought was it was funny to think of it as the weight I lost since going off gods drugs since I prefer the devil haha. You know since everyone says things about the devils drugs lol. Does that ever happen all I have read about is people being more religious. Can it go the other way during hypomania or is this just me. I suppose I lean that way most of the time. My family was religious and I basicaly believe I am going to hell anyway and dont have a problem with it.

I dont have any SI right now so do you think aloof thoughts like that are likely a symptom of being hypo or desensitization re: the end after trying so many times.

Do you know that its going to end badly or am I fine and making this up in my head and how do I stop if my extreme awareness of what happens next is really just because I am fine.