My friends introduced
Me to indie rock.
A friend from my
Sports club introduced
Me to punk music.
I liked snow patrol anyway.
Thats boys music.
Not really, snow patrol
And other bands
Appeal to girls.
I always liked urban music
But the killers sang:
Give my regards to
Soul and romance
They always did the
Best they could.
I liked how it
Was was easy listening.
I thought that listening
To angry music
Would just make
Me feel worse.
I needed calming influences.
And I did not want
To be called a goth.
I never wore eyeliner
Incase I was called a goth.
My parents took the mick
Out of me when I bought
A guitar and they
Found chords I had
Printed out. They
Literally laughed and
Asked why was I
Trying to learn guitar.
They thought that
I was not musical.
They refused to believe
I was good at anything.
My Gran used to promise
To buy me a keyboard
And teach me one day.
But she was an alcoholic,
And like my parents
Was good at talking
Out plans from
The arm chair and
Never taking action.
David said that I
Was not committed
To my sport enough.
But I had to work
To fund it myself
So I was tired out.
My brother gambled
Nights away on the pool
Table saying he was golfing.
My teachers picked
Up on me not
Applying myself but
They were used
To seeing disheartened
Kids all the time.
University required money.
We had no money.
When I was sixteen
I was supposed to
Pay them for my keep.
That was their mind set.
Once I leave home
I never go back.
So the extra year
I stayed on at school
My parents just made
Me feel like an inconvenience.
And I thought my efforta
Would end up futile.
If it were not for my sport
I would not have applied
To local college.
My mum worked part
Time in the evening
At a pub and we never
Saw her anyway so
Why did she not
Get full time hours
Or a cleaning job
In the morning?
Why? She cared about
Her social life more
Than her own kids.
I was told that one
Day I would look
Back and thank them
For putting a roof over
My head and food
In the cupboards and
Shoes on my feet.
And true to form
When I hit sixteen
My mum had turned
My grandparents against me.
And I could not
Wait to leave.
My mother pleaded
Poverty to her brother.
They were brought
Up the same so
Why did my mother
Have to put them
Above us and
Make me feel inferior?
She used to push
Me off pavements
Saying I would have
To get used to people
Looking down their
Nose at me in this life.
I never shared her view.