I called Mom, which is now the last time, hoping to find some compromise. I said I wanted to call her, but she’s not going to be happy with me in that I need to resolve this because I’m losing my mind over being accused of saying something I didn’t and being so disrespected and dismissed.

I asked, “Did you ever consider you may be mistaken? Have you ever known me to be a liar?” It turned ugly immediately and ended in 5 minutes with her hurling insults at me and me saying “Your words can’t hurt me”.

Then Dad called (her flying monkey). “Don’t ever call here again upsetting Mom like this. She’s going to have a heart attack!” I agreed that I wouldn’t call again. He hung up on me.

Yes, it’s narcissism. I know it must be on my part too. I can’t tolerate the disrespect and invalidation. I’ve put up with it too long and always got sucked back in for more. This time I stood up for myself, but had to end the relationship with the whole family over it. My dad only cares about what makes life easier for him, as do my sisters. I get it. I guess when you deal with a person like my mom, you want to avoid confrontation at all costs. I was faultily thinking that if we had a united front against her abuse, we could stop it and it would even make her happier to be healthier. Was thinking that so off?

I’m pretty ok from this last altercation actually. I’m trying to do what all the psychological articles say. Walk away. Find nice friends. Be grateful for my husband and kids and try to have a healthy relationship with them.

It’s so sad how all I asked of my mom was to consider she was mistaken and acknowledge she hurt my feelings. That turned into instant rage. Of course that doesn’t make sense. She really must have NPD. She said, “It’s too stupid for me to think about. I never gave it a second thought.” I said, “So I have been so hurt and upset over this for months, and you never gave it a second thought?” She didn’t quite answer, then went on the rage rant ... She said there was a whole discussion with my niece about how I had no right to respond to the post anyway, as it was not addressed to me. My niece told her it was meant for her friends and I am her aunt, not her friend. I said, there was never any discussion with ME included, and how on facebook we are all “friends”, so the post that said “If any of my friends...” I took to mean me. Mom said it was too stupid to even discuss and she wouldn’t give it another thought. I said I am not going to be invalidated like that— KABOOM from Mom.