My ex h was in combat in Vietnam. The va knows everything about ptsd. I am friends now w a jet contractor who just came back from Iraq. People don’t realize that all these guys face a 50% possibility of mortality in the Middle East. I think he has depression but it might be ptsd. He has to decide whether to go back there.
I would gently urge yr bf him to get treatment. Show him where the va is. Touch is what my friend likes best tho I don’t think he has night terrors. I would wake him up gently to stop them, then do what he is comfortable with, rubbing, hugging, whatever. Ask him gently what he wants you to do. The hell w the embarrassment issue. If you act relaxed, he is less likely to feel embarrassed. He’s hurting. Of course in the military they have to hold it all in and act macho. It’s complicated to learn when they get out that talking about it helps. When he’s comfortable w the idea, he can join a support group for vets w ptsd. Again, thru the va or whatever. Many college campuses have a veterans services office. Give him a huge hug for me.