((((Zehm)))) I'm so sorry you're struggling. It will surely take time to heal, so please don't give up. I'd try to rediscover those things that gave you joy in the past. Who knows, maybe the feelings of pleasure you've had before are just buried... and you have to dig to find them. If you're still not interested, you can still try some new hobbies and activities? I believe the path of self-discovery starts from here. I wish you the best luck, I'm sorry you have to deal with this