Hello sarouvak: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral.
I'm sorry you & your husband are experiencing this difficulty. One thing you didn't mention was how old your husband is. You mentioned the two of you have been married for 20 years though. So I presume the two of you must be at least a bit older... perhaps approaching or in middle age?
Age could be a significant factor here of course. Middle age can be tough on men & can have a significant impact on both their interest in intimacy as well as their ability to perform. Plus the one tends to feed upon the other. And so it can become a vicious downward spiral. I hope your husband does go to see his doctor. Depending on how that goes, if he's willing, it might be useful for him to spend some time seeing a mental health therapist as well. Depression & anxiety can also wreak havoc with person's desire for intimacy.
I've gone overboard here providing you with links to a selection of 17 articles, from PsychCentral's archives.
Included are links to articles on the effects of depression on marriage, communication within marriage, depression in men, how to persuade a loved one to seek professional help, loneliness within marriage, & how to survive in an unhappy marriage. Hopefully some or all of these articles may be of help in putting what you are dealing with into perspective & with figuring out what to do about it:
Is It Your Marriage or Your Depression?
Marriage Communication: How Does It Work?
9 Steps to Better Communication Today
The Male Midlife Crisis
Marriage and Midlife Crisis:Challenges and Transitions | Healing Together for Couples
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-mid...y-in-disguise/
https://psychcentral.com/lib/manopau...changing-life/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/tms/2...-is-different/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/welln...ession-in-men/
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17
https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-thi...le-depression/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-dep...sters-for-men/
https://psychcentral.com/lib/helping...ression/?all=1
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...essional-help/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/11-way...-denial/?all=1
https://psychcentral.com/blog/loneli...thin-marriage/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...edium=popular1
My best wishes to you both...
