I am so sorry you are going through this!! And I hear you, what you are wanting for yourself is natural and right. I wish I knew what to tell you, but that important choice is up to you. You are searching for answers and that alone is brilliant because you will learn.

What helped me heal the best was working on these two things: developing self-awareness and healing my self-esteem. As I worked on those two important qualities, my life slowly began to fall into place.

Keep looking for answers! You can help others burned by heartless abusive narcissists get better, just as you are getting better yourself. It's a painful way to learn, but firsthand knowledge is pure power. xoxoxoxox