There were lots of warning signs telling me to run away, but I continued seeing him and got sucked into a giant whirlpool that ended when our relationship ended with me hospitalized in 2015.

He left strange files on my laptop and I eventually incorporated him into deep paranoid delusions that ended with my hospitalization last year. I am doing pretty well not to be hospitalized I think.

One of the things he does is try to drive people crazy. He could be unbelievably cruel when he was in discarding mode. I never really settled on how much I thought it was part of narcissism like NPD or how much psychopathy. He often talked of killing people with his bare hands. We would sit at the dinner table and he would tell me story after story of espionage and killing and the Vietnam War.

Now I see that he's actually proficient at drawing people into his lies... it wasn't just me that fell for it. I have often thought of him as some kind of a monster rather than a human being.