You were a different person, in a way. It seems to me as though you have done a lot of work on your personal growth. Back then, he fulfilled a vacancy in you, but you picked yourself up and moved yourself forward.

The best way I know of to get past an emotional issue that is haunting me is to accept it. And if I can't get myself to that place, I face the fact that I am struggling to accept it. I tell myself that their behavior appalls me and I know I need to get past it but I first accept the fact that I am struggling to admit it to myself so I can face it and get past it. Does that make sense?

Many years ago, in my days of drinking because I had no idea the iceberg of abuse that lay beneath my surface, I dated and lived with a child molester, knowing what he was. My neediness blinded me from his monstrosity. We weren't together long, thankfully and I no longer tolerate people like that in my life. He fulfilled a distorted need I had back then that was born from the child abuse my family saturated me in.