Hi kybodyguard,

I understand the 'wheel' as you say in your mind. I feel similar alot in my mind as you refer to the 'wheel' which is a good name for it. For me, it is such a type of distraction to me.

Only I am glad you see that Suicide is not an option to stop the wheel. Do you have a Therapist who you can talk to about this? Which seems to be causing you much distress as I see it, to ponder suicide. I would say currently I am struggling with this as well.

Do the rapid thoughts combined with the depression cause you problems with communication? I know when it all adds up for me as it does so much, I find difficulty communicating with people. I have had to have many medication changes over the years, and doing or thougts of doing so as I should be doing myself only seems to be the fear of a new med or med change causes my mind to go even faster with the 'doomsday thoughts' and the 'What if" thoughts.

I hope you have someone to talk to about how you are feling, and how much this is distressing you in your daily life. I know that 5'11 and 300+ pounds gets to be all kinds of crazy in itself as I am in the same physical boat with you in those ways. I do hope that things will get better and for hopes of your mind slowing down. Please let us know how you are doing and I just want to let you know that someone else feels this way too.