I don't know... I feel ashamed that I was even with such a total loser.... had we met under normal circumstances, in person, I NEVER would have been with him. We met long distance and he was able to woo me and make empty promises of our love and of the future together, I bought into all his lies and BS...... I suppose the DXM issue just is the tipping point for me to finally feel the shame of it all. To boot, he was abusing DXM, on top of him being perpetually unemployed, becoming homeless and being a raging alcoholic (which I also learned after living with him). I just feel SO ashamed of myself.