Sorry your childhood was so tough--it is understandable that you will always be sorting out the effects of it all on you.

There is also a verse that says, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." I try to hate the things people do but find things about them I love or like. If you don't feel love, all you can do is evaluate their actions remembering the things they did for you. If you were neglected, not feeling love is understandable==and it might be you protecting yourself from being hurt==as in a coping mechanism you learned for your survival. Perhaps you haven't even allowed yourself to fully cry and recognize just how hurtful they were. Talking about it here is good for you. At funerals, I have noticed that everyone seems to grieve differently (maybe because everyone's relationships vary from person to person?). I am sorry they made your life so difficult. I do think that the mistakes, abuse, hardships, etc. that children endure can set them up for more secure or more difficult lives. They did some things to you that made you life more difficult so you need to continue to acknowledge that. The truth is the truth.

I have noticed you really do practice consistent kindness on PC. Maybe all the hardships have made you more able to love others who have also had to deal with tough things. And maybe you were just born with a gentle, giving temperament also. I am glad you are here. Thanks to your parents for making you! Though I do understand that you have a lot of emotional pain because of the neglectful, mean and unloving things that they did or allowed to happen.