I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hope that in time you can heal from this in some way, whether it's by trusting somebody else or with different means. Although it might be not my place to suggest this (and I'm sorry if it offends you, this would not be my intention), maybe getting a second young dog while your dog is still with you is an idea to consider? Not only will a young animal require some energy and offer distraction to you, but having them together for a while would sound beneficial to both of them.