Does... anyone else... suffer from "speechless terror"... where you would do anything... to escape.. including the "ultimate escape"...

My terror is so great... tonight.. and at times... that I would act first... without thinking... so very great the feeling....

Sitting here.. I feel.. that sometimes it would be better if I did "fix things permenantly"... so that I do not have the "speechless terror"....

I put it on the scale.. a "life"..... or.... "peace"...

I don't know...

Can anyone help me????? anyone hear me???? anyone at all???