First of all, thanks all for your kind memories with me over these months at this forums.

I was thinking medically a while ago about my own health, and here's something I noticed...

I drool while falling asleep. I face shortness of breath during sleep. I have bad cough. My legs had cramps (which are probably controlled by meds now). My reflexes have become overactive (just as I am falling asleep, I think about what happened and my body reacts just to the thought of it)


Not only that, I also have vocal cord spasms. I also had very very severe cold recently, which wasn't getting better by anything else other than Levocetirizine. That means there's some neuromuscular problems in my nose, which hurts pretty badly since recent.

I also have difficulty walking. My pulse was 133 last time I visited the doctor. He then prescribed me Levoceitrizine and told me it's "the only med you require."

All this points to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. My new internist noticed this and prescribed me a herbal medicine so I'll have more muscles... and also he prescribed me a herbal medicine which was supposedly for allergic bronchitis, but they were ineffective for the time being. It was three visits ago, and the second last time he told me to not take the meds anymore. They were ineffective.


My coughs are less now (or I am losing the sensation) but it still hurts when I cough and I get the sudden urge to vomit.

My vomit. It was solid a while ago, the last time I threw up. That means my digestion isn't good... or at least it has turned out to be like this recently. Another neuromuscular problem.

This ALL points to ALS... it's funny really, I think I knew it before that's why I chose Stephen Hawking as my idol. That means I am going to die within the next two to three years...


So my friends, my internist does check for my neuromuscular atrophy progression, and that means one day I'll just wake up and be confined to wheel chair... so I may not be able to be with you all as long as I had planned....

Yes, that's what I think. But it'd be too late to write this once one of my limbs becomes paralyzed, that's why I am writing this now.

Thank you all, every and each one of you, for being with me. I am going to put this link on my profile, just so you'll know I am with the stars once again.

It's hard to not cry, especially after I had wanted to die for so long... I had so many years left to live, if it wasn't for the very diseases that destroyed me and I wanted to destroy not for me but for everyone.

I'd have written, "Goodbye, all!" but it's not my time for me to leave yet as I am not paralyzed yet. But when I am, I just would want to thank you. For everything. It's an online forum, yes, but it's the one that gave me some relief.... and every little bit helps.

Thank you again. I will be with you somewhere, later.... just remember, struggle to not make only yourself feel happy, but for others as well!