((((Aimless Soul)))) I'm so sorry you're struggling. I don't know if it can help, but we're here to listen. It seems like you have problems of self-perception: could they be the reason why you're unable to make meaningful relationship? I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but maybe you need to work on that aspect. Do you see a therapist? Can you afford it? I'm sorry you have to go through this