((UpDownMiddleGround)), actually, your reaction that you have explained here in your thread is pretty normal. You experienced something VERY threatening and you reacted with a flight response. Once a person is away from the danger or trauma there is always a period of "shock" where the person is basically stunned and in a state of disbelief or not really knowing how to feel about what they experienced. The human brain doesn't just automatically "accept" something like what you have described experiencing. A person typically needs to talk about it several times in order for their brain to come to terms that "yes" this really did happen. The brain stores information in several areas so it takes time for a person to actually put the entire story together that includes all of how an event was stored in a person's brain. The brain needs time to review everything that took place including sights, sounds, location, how many people were there, what time of day it was, and so many different things that come together to identify the true danger of suddenly facing something that is such a huge threat. As our brain does this we also begin to experience a lot of different feelings about whatever we experienced as well. It's also VERY normal to not want to return to the environment something like this took place as well. Our brain not only has to access what took place but it also has to learn how to actually accept whatever happened. This desire to find a way to accept "yes this really did happen" includes having a strong desire to talk about it often repeatedly too. Any kind of trauma like this changes a person's personal sense of safety. There are times where if something bad enough took place people will choose not to rebuild or use that environment again. For example, they never rebuilt the twin towers and just ended up putting a monument there. They never used the Newtown grammar school again but instead demolished it and picked an entirely new location to build a new school instead. Every single person that was connected to that Newtown school had to learn how to live their lives again despite having something so horrible dramatically change their lives and ability to feel "safe".

What you experienced is going to take you time to accept and time to regain your personal sense of safety, and it really does take time. This is NORMAL.