I can understand you Katy, somewhat. Grew up in a strict christian home. Their behaviour didn't reflect what was being taught in church. More than confusing. Hurtful to a small child.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through.

I remember in our church, it went something like "honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land..."

I know that words can be twisted to different meanings. I believe it was first meant to mean "not to take the fact you are given a life from your parents lightly".

Well.. when you are shown the opposite of love and acceptance, and you still want to keep your faith and belief in this God, it seems very difficult.

I've allowed myself to be angry with God, to question him, to tell him how I really feel about this life. Why so many children, so many people, everywhere are suffering?

I don't have answers, I don't even understand that eventually everything will be justified. But all I know is I can do nothing but what I feel I need to do, and even there I fail. I still want my faith, I still want to believe, so I do. But it seems we are being tested too harshly at times.

I just wanted to say I feel bad for you, and I hope you feel better with all this Many hugs to you and prayers.